Something smells funky

I've gotten pretty used to my commute. It may not be a glamourous Manhattan commute (but when is the NYC subway ever glamourous?) and it's a little long but I don't have to deal with crammed trains. Of course nothing is ever perfect, so while I have gained more space and a less stressful ride to work I've gained a rather smelly one in return. All NYC subways smell but I have the luck of riding on possibly the two smelliest lines in this city.

First train for me is the G train, but I like to affectionatelly call it the "G"hetto line. Runs infrequently and every station on that line seems to always feel deserted and lets not forget smelly. The train itself seems to always smell of a mixture of reused Bleach and old dirty rags. That's the best description that comes to mind. The good thing is, I've never seen a homeless person on the G and that's probably because it will take only 40 minutes if not less to ride the shortest line in NYC (not sure if this is a fact, but looking at the 2 stations is runs between during the week... I would say so).

Next up in my commute we've got the E train. Is this one of the longest or is it the A? If anyone can find this out that would be grand. This one deserves nothing less than a recap of my ride on the E yesterday morning.

Stepping on at Queens Plaza in my usual car and my usual seat (yes I have a usual 8 foot wide area that I like to sit on) I sit down. Less than 30 seconds have probably passed now.
What is that god awful smell? It smells like someone has pissed on themselves 50 times...a homeless person. Oh my god, the seat feels warm. Was a homeless person sitting on this seat with their pissed on pants touching the very spot I am sitting in? Oh my god, it smells so bad.
Maybe I can sit in that spot between those 2 ladies across from me.

I get up and sit down on the other side. Ok, seat is nice and cold. I'm the first one sitting here in a while. But why does it still reek? God I want to puke! I'm look at the people around me. These people look like they shower.

I look further down the car. Oh there is the culprit. She's sitting smack dab in the center of the car with about several garbage bags around her. Yikes.

I can't take this smell. I cover my nose with my scarf. I need to move to the next car. I'll wait until the next stop. But that's not another 7 minutes away. Looking around. How can these people sit here and not cover their noses? They arent even making weird faces. Ok, that one guy has his nose covered. I'm not imagining this.

After 7 of the most stinkiest minutes of my life I get up and move to the next car just as we get into Roosevelt Avenue. Ah, relief. This car doesnt smell like old piss. Oh look here's the Metro paper next to me. Oh.. it's got a stain on it...hm.. looks like coffee I suppose. Tom Brady's got a cast on his foot. That's sucks for New England.

Turning some more pages. *Sniff* What is that smell? It reeks. Eww. Gross... What the hell!? Quickly throwing the paper back down on the seat. Yuck, I still smell something strong. Is it that guy at the end? He looks ok. *sniff sniff* It's really close to me. Oh god, did the paper smell transfer over to my big chunky scarf that the bottom of the paper was resting on when I was flipping through? Oh god, so gross so gross. Can't wait to get off this train. What was that yellow stain on the paper? Did some homeless person sit on top of it with his bare ass. Oh gross. Stop these thoughts. Stop these thoughts. Ugh, get me off this train.... get me off this train.

Train stops at my stop. Thank god! Can't wait to wash my hands when I get into the office.

So the E line has to the be the homeless line because at least twice a week I see someone on that train. I know I should be saying "that's really sad" every time I say the word "homeless". It is sad. But when you're the one sitting on the train with one you really have to seriously wonder how they get to that point. I mean, I don't think it's easy to get to THAT point where you are not even showering and you are pissing on yourself rather than in some empty park or sidewalk corner.

Anyway... hope you enjoyed the ride with me.